Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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