it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
