At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
