I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
