i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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