i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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