boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You dont lie about slip and slides
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
