covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
