she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
