It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
she told me i tasted like america
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
