Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
