This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I just forgot I was standing up.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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