puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
