did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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