The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
