he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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