Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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