im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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