Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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