you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
