at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
