Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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