I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
