i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize