it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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