if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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