I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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