I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
