I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
