We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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