I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
