when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
