What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
