I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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