Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
