In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
