Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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