dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize