Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
