i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
