Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
