kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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