Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Randomize
