I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
