Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
