ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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