I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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