i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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