Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
