Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
