I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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