Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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