I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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