If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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