He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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