I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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