id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
