Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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