whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
