wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
