All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
