Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
