you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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